Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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