There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
