I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
