Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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