you guys were way drunker than both of me
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
