What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
