we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
