I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
