if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
