You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
