Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
