Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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