i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
