I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
