She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just gift wrapped bread.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
