he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
