Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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