Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
