Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
