I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
