In the future we'll all be gay
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
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