I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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