If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
