Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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