Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The air was thick with penises
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
