I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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