Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I smell stomach acid.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
