i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
