Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
