I just saw a hot homeless man
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
