OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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