I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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