I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
