Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
