not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
