go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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