Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
