she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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