you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
