A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
