hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
