atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
As shirtless as possible
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
