I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
