True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
