well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
either way he was missing a nipple.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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