I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
