My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
