Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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