Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
