Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
