u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
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