no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
